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How to deal with No-contact?


No-contact

I am writing this as I feel heartbroken myself, so yeah I am possibly not the best person to share guidance at the moment but don't reach out, no matter how much you want to do that.


It doesn't matter if you were just involved casually, doesn't matter if you were in a relationship, dating or just something you never labelled. If you finally had the strength to walk away and you're in no-contact right now, don't reach out.


Not because of your ego, not because you need to prove the value of your absence but for the simple fact that whatever and whoever is meant for you, won't pass you by. Now I know you could be thinking about all the good moments together and there were possibly many that make your heart ache day or night as you think about it but here's another perspective - how long can you go and be the only one fighting to make something work when the other person is not even willing to try? Maybe forever but you will lose yourself in the process.


You can't make someone understand your worth with efforts, your love, your loyalty, everything you think you can try, no you can't, not if they never choose to see it. When it's for you, it falls in place naturally and there is no hesitation in accepting it with all the flaws, all the tough battles, all the boring days and the days when you would rather be in your own space. You deserve to be chosen as easily as you have been choosing that person. And yes, it is going to be hard to heal from that pain, that heartbreak you're feeling or you have been feeling for a while now but it gets better eventually. One day at a time.


And if you still feel that if you don't reach out, they will walk away forever or be with someone else, ask yourself, why would you even want to go to someone who can be so okay with letting you go from their life? You tried love, you gave it your all, and you don't have to keep asking yourself if you could have done more. You couldn't or maybe you could but it would still be ignored.


So, how do you deal with no contact with someone who became a part of your life every day and now is turning into a known stranger? One day at a time, you focus on things that make you smile again, could be as small as having a gulab jamun (yup, my friend just sent one to me and my heart is melting) or talking to close friends, or maybe indulging in activities that make you feel a bit calm. And when you wish to cry, don't hold back, CRY as much as you want. If you want to travel, do that. But whatever you do, don't end up in a rebound connection, because it's not going to help. This is about you reconnecting with yourself.


I know you saw a beautiful future with that person, you saw all the good in them and you trusted that vision, maybe that vision is true, maybe that person is the one for you, maybe the red cords of fate are just stretching at the moment but will bring you back to each other when you're both at a better place, but by that time, you should be at a place when you're okay with receiving mutual and balanced energy. You deserve a connection where both people are mutually invested with a clear vision, clear efforts, clear intention and consistency to maintain it, not just initially but even when it has been years.


What's meant for you can't be stolen, taken away or removed from you.

But what's not for you, will never stay even if you would beg the entire universe for it. So do yourself a favour, step back and pour all that love into yourself.


And trust me, it's easier said than done but if someone wants you in their life, no ego, no excuse, no 3rd party, basically no reason would be able to hold them back. You did your part, now surrender and heal yourself.



Love,

Adrija



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